There's a blonde in a
rowboat in the middle of a field, just rowing and rowing her heart out. Another
blonde comes down the road, looks into the field, and stares at the first
blonde.
"What do you think you're doing?!" she asks.
"I'm rowing, and I'd
better hurry up! I'm going to be late!" says the first girl.
The second girl
gets mad. "What?! You know, it's blondes like you that give us all a bad name!
And if I could swim, I'd come out there and slap you silly!"
�
No, Over
There
There were two blondes
driving to disney land in Los Angeles. The were looking for signs that would
lead them there. One of them finally saw a sign. It said "Disney, Left .... so
they turned around and went back home
True Blonde
A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and says that her
body hurts wherever she touches it.
"Impossible," says the doctor. "Show
me."
She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She
pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams and so it goes on,
everywhere she touches makes her scream.
The doctor says, "You're not
really a brunette, are you?"
She says, "No, I'm really a blonde."
"I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken."��� from carla
BAR
JOKES
Squeezably soft
A woman in the bar says
that she wants to have plastic surgery to enlarge her breasts. Her husband tells
her, "Hey, you don't need surgery to do that. I know how to do it without
surgery."
The lady asks, "How do
I do it without surgery?"
"Just rub toilet paper
between them."
"How does that make
them bigger?"
"I don't know, but it
worked for your ass."
�
Slapstick
comedy
This white guy walks
into a bar and he starts talking with a black guy who is sitting next to him.
After a couple of beers they decide to go take a pee together. As they are in
the men's room, the white guy glances at the black's dick.
"Gee, I really wish I
had a dick like that," says the white guy.
"Well", says the black,
"all you have to do is hit your penis on the bath tab for ten minutes every
morning, and you'll get it."
The other guy thanks
him for his advice and walks out of the bar.
Some months later they
meet again in the same bar, and they start talking.
"Well", says the black
man, "did you take the advice?"
"I did," says the other
guy.
"So, let me see."
The white guy lowers
his pants and shows him his penis.
"Ha!" says the black
guy, "at least you made the color like mine!!" (nikos GR)
The parrot retires in Tahiti
A guy walks into a bar,
and there's a horse behind the bar serving drinks. The guy is staring at the
horse, when the horse says, "Hey buddy? What are you staring at? Haven't you
ever seen a horse serving drinks before?"
The guy says, "No, it's
not that... it's just that I never thought the parrot would sell the
place."
�
Jockeying
for a position
Paddy and his two
friends are talking at a bar. His first friend says: 'I think my wife is having
an affair with the electrician. The other day I came home and found wire cutters
under our bed and they weren't mine.'
His second friend says:
'I think my wife is having an affair with the plummer the other day I found a
wrench under the bed and it wasn't mine.'
Paddy says: 'I think my
wife is having an affair with a horse.' Both his friends look at him with utter
disbelief. 'No I'm serious. The other day I came home and found a jockey under
our bed.'
Nuts
A guy goes
into the bar and sits down and orders a drink. Other than the bartender, there's
no one else in the place. All of a sudden he hears a voice that says, "Nice
suit." He looks around and doesn't see anyone and the bartender looks busy
washing some glasses. A little while later the same voice says, "Nice Tie." The
guy looks around again and doesn't see anyone. He finally asks the bartender if
he just said something.
"No," replied the bartender, "it wasn't me. It
was probably the peanuts though. They're complimentary."
